If "Notable Achievements" section of your résumé is lacking, consider listing longest rat-tail you've ever grown.
Make sure résumé is free of spelling errors, grease stains, blood splatters, and bits of hair and gristle.
When job app asks "Reason You Left Previous Job," make it clear your were not at fault. Write, "Boss was total Nazi."
Make sure to brush teeth and practice a handshake that doesn't involve a fist bump.
Skills section should not include past notable bowel movements.
Drunk too much prior to the interview? Politely vomit down your jacket sleeve and hold your arm vertically until the end.
If you are a cannibal, rapist or Scientologist, best keep it to yourself or at least until you have your foot in the door.
In "References," simply write "Wikipedia."
Turning up to a job interview naked does not make you look like you have nothing to hide. It makes you look crazy.
Interview tip: refuse to answer questions and go on a tangent about how awesome you are. Make sure to follow up with a call.
Asking "Do you have a salve for this?" in Spanish is not the best example of your bilingual conversation skills.
* Not to be taken too seriously